Vancouver by JIM W.
GAY PRIDE MARCHERS faced a botanical accident
and a medical emergency recently in Vancouver,
Canada -- events which resulted in the exposure to
public view of parts of the body which are not
ordinarily visible. Luckily, no one was hurt and
the parade proceeded as usual.
The incidents involved two people who began
marching in the parade stripped to the waist. Each
had a flat chest -- that is, nipples but no breasts
-- thus making it unlikely that either was a woman
(although it can be difficult to be sure these
days). And both began the Gay Pride march wearing a
botanical item between and in front of their legs,
immediately below the navel.
Subsequent events would reveal that each marcher
had (below the waist) a tubular structure about one
inch in diameter, hanging down in front of a sac
which appeared to have two spheroid-shaped items
inside. According to experts, the technical terms
for these things -- rarely seen out on the street
in modern Western cultures (and only slightly more
commonly visible indoors) -- are a penis, a
scrotum, and two testicles. Experts
also confirm that this identifies the two humans in
question as men (singular: man,
In both instances, the men were walking down the
street in the parade for somewhat under an hour,
with sight of these men's penises, scrotums, and
But then, suddenly and unexpectedly, events
resulted in the exposure of the men's
genitalia (the scientific term for the
above-mentioned penis, scrotum, and testicles in
combination). See photos below.
The cause of the exposure was different for each
man. First revealed was Jean-Louis, who had begun
by covering his genitalia with some leaves and a
wooden contraption held in place with a string. The
string broke, leaving only the leaves -- which fell
off one by one with successive strides.
Jim, on the other hand, had covered his
genitalia with a plastic leaf held on with a rubber
band. When Jean-Louis's apparatus fell away, Jim
happened to notice that the raw edges of his own
leaf had been cutting into his thighs. It is, of
course, medically dangerous to walk down the street
with something irritating one's skin, so removing
the offending item was a medical necessity.
605 x 509
The nude and nearly nude marchers represented
the Pacific-Canadian Association of Nudists, or
P-CAN (seen on the web at www.p-can.org).
Onlookers had been enthusiastically applauding the
nearly-naked marchers, and with the stripping away
of two marchers' clothes they seemed even more
Clearly, this bodes well for nude marching in
Leading the band of P-CANners was a pickup truck
with music and a generator, festooned with a huge
banner reading "Naked Dance
Tonight!". This reporter, as warranted by his
professional duties, got a very, very close
look at the penises on view, and can
authoritatively report that both of them
were seen again that evening at the dance
advertised on the banner [see associated story,
Previous Press Coverage
the year 2000, P-CAN garnered extensive press
coverage when two of its members appeared nude on
the cover of X-TRA West.
year's Pride Week issue once again mentioned
nudists on the cover, and a photo spread inside
included a shot (from the rear) of the 2000 P-CAN
contingent. A non-gay paper also featured a photo
spread with last year's XTRA cover models.