Penises Spotted in Vancouver!
Small Penises Spotted at Nude Dance!
Photos photos and more photos!

Two guys, two coversVancouver invention:
Clever crotch covers!


The Prickston Penis-Examiner


Copyright © 2001 All rights reserved

Penises Spotted in Vancouver!

Reported in Vancouver by JIM W.

GAY PRIDE MARCHERS faced a botanical accident and a medical emergency recently in Vancouver, Canada -- events which resulted in the exposure to public view of parts of the body which are not ordinarily visible. Luckily, no one was hurt and the parade proceeded as usual.

The incidents involved two people who began marching in the parade stripped to the waist. Each had a flat chest -- that is, nipples but no breasts -- thus making it unlikely that either was a woman (although it can be difficult to be sure these days). And both began the Gay Pride march wearing a botanical item between and in front of their legs, immediately below the navel.

Subsequent events would reveal that each marcher had (below the waist) a tubular structure about one inch in diameter, hanging down in front of a sac which appeared to have two spheroid-shaped items inside. According to experts, the technical terms for these things -- rarely seen out on the street in modern Western cultures (and only slightly more commonly visible indoors) -- are a penis, a scrotum, and two testicles. Experts also confirm that this identifies the two humans in question as men (singular: man, irreg.).

In both instances, the men were walking down the street in the parade for somewhat under an hour, with sight of these men's penises, scrotums, and testicles obscured.

But then, suddenly and unexpectedly, events resulted in the exposure of the men's genitalia (the scientific term for the above-mentioned penis, scrotum, and testicles in combination). See photos below.

The cause of the exposure was different for each man. First revealed was Jean-Louis, who had begun by covering his genitalia with some leaves and a wooden contraption held in place with a string. The string broke, leaving only the leaves -- which fell off one by one with successive strides.

Jim, on the other hand, had covered his genitalia with a plastic leaf held on with a rubber band. When Jean-Louis's apparatus fell away, Jim happened to notice that the raw edges of his own leaf had been cutting into his thighs. It is, of course, medically dangerous to walk down the street with something irritating one's skin, so removing the offending item was a medical necessity.

The two miscreants

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The nude and nearly nude marchers represented the Pacific-Canadian Association of Nudists, or P-CAN (seen on the web at Onlookers had been enthusiastically applauding the nearly-naked marchers, and with the stripping away of two marchers' clothes they seemed even more animated.

Clearly, this bodes well for nude marching in the future.

Leading the band of P-CANners was a pickup truck with music and a generator, festooned with a huge banner reading "Naked DanTruck bannerce Tonight!". This reporter, as warranted by his professional duties, got a very, very close look at the penises on view, and can authoritatively report that both of them were seen again that evening at the dance advertised on the banner [see associated story, below].

Previous Press Coverage

In the year 2000, P-CAN garnered extensive press coverage when two of its members appeared nude on the cover of X-TRA West.

This year's Pride Week issue once again mentioned nudists on the cover, and a photo spread inside included a shot (from the rear) of the 2000 P-CAN contingent. A non-gay paper also featured a photo spread with last year's XTRA cover models.

Jean-Louis's covering
comes off

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Photo spread in Westender: Four photos


Section T

The Prickston Penis-Examiner

Page T-2

Small Penises Spotted at Nude Dance
Average and large penises also seen, but we'll talk about those elsewhere

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"Do I qualify?", I asked, still trying to maintain my reportorial objectivity.

"Well, how small is your dick?" (He never asks how big a dick is -- only how small.)

"Five and a half inches, hard," I replied.

"Then you're on the small end of 'normal," he replied, "and that's small enough."

Whew! -- I thought, relieved at last that there was some exclusive club that would let me in and provide me with the adulation I so desperately need.

Reported in no small way by JIM W.

Vancouver's wonderful gay male nudist group, P-CAN, held another of its enormously successful "Naked Heaven" dances the evening of the Vancouver 2001 Pride March on 5 August. Official attendance figures were not available, but this reporter himself saw at least 300 uncovered penises swinging, swaying, and flopping up and down -- in time to the music!

Prominent among them was the dick of a guy named Glen -- which was not, in fact, flopping, because Glen was standing still.

Two webmastersGlen is the webmaster of the fabulous, astonishing "Small Dick Magazine" site -- a site which is exceptionally well endowed with graphic design talent, as well as with Glen's uncompromisingly hilarious unconventional point of view about gay men and their obsession with size. (If you want proof, just check out the small, one-page link from his old site to his new one.)

"Of course my site is obsessed with size," said webmaster Glen in our exclusive interview, confabulated entirely for this issue. "Only guys with small dicks may appear on the site; otherwise we'd have to call it 'not-so-small-dick-magazine'."

NOTE: Since the word "confabulate" means "lie," this means that Glen never said any of the things I say he did, and I didn't, either.

More photos of the Vancouver Pride March!

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Nude marcher

Two guys, two covers

Homo Dickoration:

What are vancovers?

P-CAN is a non-profit,
member-run all-male
nudist group in Vancouver.

Naked Heaven nude dance logo

Jim's Penis Central!

Nude guys at other gay pride marches March naked in Pride!